Sunday, May 23, 2010

The dead of midnight is the noon of thought.

Just finished watching internal affairs 3. Honestly speaking, I don't really understand the show. It's kind of complicated....It sets me thinking deeply. Sometimes I really think that our brain is a very complex thing. If given a chance I might want to try out psychology. I really want to know what sets my brain thinking.

These few weeks have been really tiring,stressful and demanding. After all, poly life is not as fun as I thought. In fact, it's more stressful then I thought. Projects and the weekly tutorials is a chore. Perhaps I'm just not used to it. My friends seem to be coping well. The preview before our actual presentation has been robust and direct. Lecturers are not going to spoon feed you and you will have to do a lot of independant learning and research. All I got is:"out of point, pls redo".

It's just only the 5th week and I could barely cope with it. How are things going to be like in the 2nd year or third year itself? Will things get better or worsen? Have been sleeping late for the past one week. Packed with driving practical and CCA. Thoughts have been running through my mind about the reality in life. I once heard of a descripition called the rat race. It's talking about human being trapped in a cycle. It's like a hamster in the running cycle or whatever you call it. We have been trapped in the cycle of a series of happenings. You go to kindergarden, primary school, secondary school and then polytechnic. And it goes on......The higher you climb or the longer you walk, the more you are afraid to stop. I think they call it the status quo, it's the relutancy to change the state of affairs without good reasons. It caused by the fear of losing. When I went into ITE, i aimed to top the cohort so that i could get into poly to do the course that i wanted. I did it and I'm in poly now. I thought that when i got into poly, i could slack down. But the fact is that I couldn't slow down when everybody are moving fast. You will have to follow the pace. Maybe I am just thinking way too far but I asked myself where is the stop line for me. I always used this scenario to describe. After you have completed a 2.4km run and thought you could have a rest, they tell you: "hey, you will have to run another 4.8km." It will be devastating. So hopefully I didn't take the wrong path. I will continue walking and see where it will lead me to.

Sounds abit emotional..But the fact is these are cold hard facts. I have been reflecting on this issue lately. If only i have the chance to speak to somebody who is really sucessful in what they are doing. I will ask them is all the sacrifices worth it?


let's talk in black&white
12:44 AM

Wednesday, April 21, 2010

Midnight Thoughts

I'm suffering from insomina again. Always having difficulty turing in early. Probably I'm having too much thoughts in my head. Thinking about what's really good for my future and the path that I'm taking. Will it really bring me the things I want in life after I completed my studies. I used to be very entrepreneurial in the past. I have changed a lot since few months back. Previously studying wasn't that important to me but now I have a total different set of thinking. So is this a better change in me?

Only Time will lead me to an answer....Today one of my lecturer actually shared with us some of her worst happenings when she was in the private sector. She assured us that if we want to make big bucks, we are in the right course. She told us that some of the bankers who works in the larger bank can earn an annual bonus of $1.2million excluding their yearly remunuration. That's a lot of money and it's most possible in the banking sector. But as usual there ought to be sacrifices to be made. Like time and health. She told us about an incident where by one of the dealer who suffered from an heart attack, collasped and died on his working desk. And best of all you have to be on stand-by 24/7, even on a sunday night. Everything as usual is fair and square, everytime you gain something, you will lose something.....So what are we willing to give up in exchange to be rich?


let's talk in black&white
12:55 AM

Monday, April 19, 2010

School begins..........

Morning came, woke up at 6am and proceed to school. Pretty nervous and excited to see how do my new classmates look like. Reached school at 7.30pm and took like half an hour to find my way to the class. Singapore polytechnic is like so BIIG..........
First to reach the class, classmates came later on. At first i was worried that they are all nerds, but turn out to be alright. All of them are warm and outgoing. It's a fun class and we will be playing basketball together tomorrow.

Polytechic is so stressful.....Is like so competitive, my classmate asked me out for revision and it's like only the first day. And everyting is like so tedious, from registation to configuration of laptop to getting my Ez link card done. Hopefully everything will settle down and i will adapt to poly life.

Anyway yesterday fishing trip was so exciting and rewarding. We landed quite a number of fishes and best of all, everybody caught a fish except for Eben. As usual everytime the more experience one will either land a fish later then the newbies or land nothing. Is a curse? Sometimes, things just can't be explained. Anyway guys thank you for making this trip such a sucess, especially gabriel for not flying areoplane again. Hope you guys enjoyed the trip and we shall start our brand new life. Meet up again on graduation day, please be present.............


let's talk in black&white
9:32 PM

Saturday, April 3, 2010

SINGAPORE POLY I'M COMING..........

Final results is out, I'm in singapore polytechnic. Monday have to go collect the enrollment package. Have to take off on monday as it's compulsory. Anyway I have two of my ex-classmate tagging along with me. Regina and veronica are coming with me....

These few days sales have been quite constant. Hitting my target for the past week, hopefully I can maintain it till the middle of the month for a fat pay check. Monday have to take off, feeling so reluctant. And the mail I received, stated that thursday is the registration day so I might have to take off again. I just don't want to get distracted.

POlY begins on the 19th of april, lots and lots of things to be done and bought. New clothes, new shoes, new bag and hopefully a new image. Got to prepare my things, heading out to town....Lights out.


let's talk in black&white
8:14 PM

Wednesday, March 31, 2010

RESULT'S OUT!

I didn't know that the results will be out today. Expected it to be tomorrow. Luckily Sam informed me. I think I was pretty nervous so I woke up a number of times yesterday night. Finally morning came and the first thing I did was to take a shower and logged into ITE portal. Guess what............. I got GPA 4 again. I was thrilled and I just couldn't believe my eyes so I logged out and logged in again to double check. HAHA...

Tomorrow I will know which poly I will be going.

15 more days to freedom, 13 more days of work, 59 more sets to hit my commission and 92 more sets to hit extra commission.

Motivations:Fishing trip on 19th
:Poly semester begins

Coming together is a beginning, staying together is a progress and working together is a success.


let's talk in black&white
9:37 PM

Monday, March 22, 2010

Monday blues

Today woke up early, went to work as usual. 25 more days to go... Work, work and work. First time that I commit myself to a full time Job. This holiday is fully utilised. Every single day well spent.

Some of the dates that I'm looking forward..............
-1/4/10
Release of ITE results

-18/4/10
Off-shore fishing trip

-19/4/10
Polylife begins....

Sleep early, wake up early.


let's talk in black&white
9:37 PM

Friday, March 19, 2010



Tiring but Rewarding

These few days I have been so obedient, going to bed as early as 9.30pm. It feels really really great to sleep early and wake up early. No more outbreaks... I have never been having such a normal and healthy lifestyle. Three more weeks for my full time job.

My only motivation now is the upcoming off shore fishing on 18 april, that's what keeps me moving on.

By the way finally received the photos taken in SIMEI ITE for the last time.

Well early night again.........NIGHTS EARTHINGS...


let's talk in black&white
10:21 PM

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